There’s something I need to tell you about why rest still doesn’t feel safe, even after all the self-development work you’ve done. When you’re pushing and performing, that’s your inner masculine energy being frantic and lost.
The solution isn’t simply to relax. It isn’t another productivity system or longer morning routine. The problem runs deeper than that.
Today I’m providing a different lens through historical context – sharing why the feminine is the true leader and how understanding this completely changes your relationship to rest, boundaries, and building a life that actually feels like yours.
Let me start with some context that might challenge what you’ve been told about human history.
For the first two and a half billion years of life on this planet, all life was female. The female is the first sex, the creator, the holder of life. This isn’t metaphor – this is evolutionary biology. Males appeared later, created by females to perform specialized reproductive tasks.
What They Don’t Teach You About “History”
What we call “history” goes back 3,000 years, but human civilization did not actually begin then. For the first two and a half billion years of life on this planet, all life was actually female. For tens of thousands of years, human cultures were life-centered.
Women were the first scientists, doctors, astronomers, farmers, and spiritual leaders. They were central to society – carrying knowledge through oral tradition, ritual, and deep relationship with the earth.
Men existed in support of that wisdom. Neither men nor women were above each other – they were partners supporting life and culture together. With the patriarchal takeover, we went from these life-centered cultures to societies built on control and domination, where women became subordinate to men.
Between 4000-2000 BCE, something dramatic shifted. Nomadic warrior tribes began invading the peaceful, Earth-based cultures across Europe and the Middle East. These invaders were male-dominated, militarized, and worshipped sky gods of war and conquest instead of Earth goddesses.
How Ancient Stories Were Rewritten to Control the Feminine
This wasn’t just a political takeover – it was a mythological and psychic displacement. As patriarchal systems solidified, they rewrote the stories. This is why in the Bible, Eve, representing the feminine, was written as the cause of humanity’s fall. Eve, not Adam, was the one who ate the forbidden fruit. Adam, the masculine, was deceived by the evil feminine.
The serpent – once a symbol of feminine wisdom – became evil. The womb itself was made shameful. The powerful goddesses who had been revered for thousands of years were suddenly demoted or demonized.
What Patriarchy Really Means (It’s Not What You Think)
The patriarchy had arrived. And when I say “patriarchy,” I’m not just talking about men dominating women. We’re talking about an entire cosmology shift – from cyclical time to linear time, from inner wisdom to external authority, from Earth as sacred to Earth as resource.
The goal wasn’t only to control women as people – it was to control life itself by silencing the intelligence that could not be owned: the dark, the womb, the wild, the unpredictable.
Still today, virtually every aspect of our society – from economics to education to healthcare – is built on the foundational assumption that women are inferior to men. This isn’t just about individual beliefs, it’s structural. The feminine was made subordinate to the masculine.
How Even “Spiritual” Teachings Keep Women Subordinate
Even though we’ve started talking about honoring the feminine more in recent years, the distortions run deep. Even in spiritual teachings where feminine and masculine energies are discussed, the focus is often still on the feminine being chaotic, unstable, passive or emotionally volatile and needing to be contained by the masculine. The masculine is cast as the leader, the one who must bring order. He is the mountain, the leader, and the feminine follows.
But as you can see from this historical context, this misses the fundamental point – the feminine is the ultimate source.
This suppression lives in our bodies as intergenerational trauma. We’ve inherited a world shaped by systems fundamentally out of sync with life. No wonder we’re burnt out, disconnected, and dysregulated.
The Truth About Feminine Energy That No One Is Teaching
The truth is that the feminine isn’t chaos or emotion. She’s the intelligence that reads the information in emotion. She’s the one connected to source, to the higher power, to life itself. And because of that connection, she sets the direction.
Think about it: the womb is the ultimate container of life. The earth holds us all. The feminine doesn’t need the masculine to hold her – she IS the holder. Yin, the feminine, is fertile, grounding, and foundational. Yang, the masculine, rises from her.
In nature, female birds choose the nest location, select the mate, and direct the building. She has access to all the information and informs the masculine, who then shows up in support of her knowing.
Your inner feminine is meant to set the rules. She feels what’s true. She says: this is what I value, what I’m available for, what I’m willing to receive. These are the spaces I’ll be in, the people I’ll engage with.
Your inner masculine – your structure, your focus, your doing – moves in support of that knowing. That’s what it means to move from integrity, to be balanced, to lead from within.
Why Your Masculine Energy Feels Frantic and Lost
The problem is that most of us have lost connection to our feminine knowing. We’ve been cut off from our bodies, our intuition, our connection to something greater than ourselves. So our inner masculine has no compass. He doesn’t know what to build or what’s meaningful.
Without feminine guidance, your masculine energy runs around lost in fight-or-flight mode, ego-driven, trying to earn its existence through performing and achieving. Because without the feminine, he can’t feel the intrinsic value of being.
This is why the way to heal your pushing, performing, and overworking is to connect back to your body, back to your knowing, back to nature. That’s how you build feminine leadership skills that can then direct your masculine energy.
What Happens When Your Inner Masculine Serves Your Inner Feminine
When you’re operating from this inner union, your masculine acts in service of life – because that’s the masculine’s highest purpose. Not in a hierarchical way, but because that’s how the masculine fulfills its true function.
Since I’ve started working with this dynamic, everything has shifted. I’ve stopped seeing masculine and feminine as polarities and started experiencing them as a dance of energies within me. I’ve learned to deeply trust my feminine knowing and invite my masculine to support whatever is coming through.
I see this with all the clients I work with. They try to force structure by creating rules, systems, endless to-do lists – and then wonder why they’re so exhausted. They’re trying to use masculine energy without feminine guidance.
The Truth About Leadership That Changes Everything
True leadership isn’t masculine or feminine – it’s embodied service. When we’ve integrated and balanced these energies within ourselves, we can lead from truth, presence, and reverence for life.
The feminine creates safety through her own connection to the divine. When she’s grounded in that, she doesn’t need rescuing. When the masculine shows up in devotion to this knowing, protecting the boundaries defined by the feminine, supporting the wisdom she has, he becomes a powerful co-creator, not a savior.
Your Next Steps: Questions for Inner Reflection
So here’s my invitation: start noticing how these energies play out within you. Is your masculine running around lost, trying to figure everything out through force? Or is he in service to your feminine knowing?
Can you feel safe slowing down? Do you know when enough is enough? Can you communicate your needs clearly and receive support without guilt?
I hope this historical context helps you understand why it’s so challenging to break free from the constant doing. The dominant systems today — capitalism, institutional religion, corporate structures — are built on masculine overdrive and feminine suppression that has been going on for thousands of years. We’re taught to value doing over being, logic over intuition, productivity over presence.
But we are shifting. Just the fact that you’re reading this means you’re ready for change.
Remember – life began with the feminine, with rhythm, with the earth. When we lead from her, we remember who we are.