In this episode, I’m talking about goals.

But I’ve got a confession to make — I’ve never been one of those people who gets super fired up about them. For most of my life, goals just felt stressful. 

Every time I set one, I felt pressure to know exactly how I was going to achieve it.

And the second I committed to a goal, I also committed to overworking, to sacrificing everything else in my life just to get there.

So today, I want to offer a different take.

Because the problem isn’t you. You’ve just been setting the wrong kind of goals.

I’ll share why most goals actually keep you small, what changes when you set goals from your heart, and how one decision I made years ago quietly changed the entire trajectory of my life.

Do you feel uninspired by goals?

For most of my life, I didn’t feel inspired by goals. They often just stressed me out. The second I set one, my mind went into overdrive trying to figure out how I would get there. 

I preferred playing it safe, avoiding big goals if I could. 

When I set big goals, they became a huge stressor in my life because the only way I knew how to reach a goal was to push harder. Just do more. 

Which led me to overwork in insane amounts. I put so much pressure on myself because if I didn’t reach the goal, I’d feel like a failure as a person. 

And the thing is, no one ever really explained the point of goals to me. 

In most workplaces, goals are just used to track performance. Stuff you check off to prove you’re progressing. But not something that connects you to your heart. 

I viewed goals as proof that who I am right now isn’t good enough, I need to be there, I need to be better and do more to be worthy. 

When You Feel Stuck, Your Goals Might Be The Problem

What I’ve seen — in myself and the women I work with — is that when we feel stuck, one of the reasons is often that we don’t have a big enough goal. 

We’re trying to tweak our lives. Improve incrementally. Add a little here, fix a little there. But none of it really moves us. Because deep down, we’re not guided by something that actually pulls us forward. Using our intellect more than our intuition. 

We’re not listening to what our heart actually wants. There’s no deeper direction.

When we set goals that truly come from the heart, something shifts. Not like a magical click. But an orientation happens. We start to move differently.

When we respect and love ourselves enough to set a big goal — one that’s actually aligned with what we want — we get pulled forward. 

Type C goals put a spotlight on what we need to stop doing. It forces clarity. 

When you admit to yourself what you really want, and you claim it, you can’t afford spending time on things that don’t serve you. The opportunity cost is just too high. 

If you’re just floating around, it’s not a big deal to spend half the weekend hungover, binging yet another season of Real Housewives or seeing people you don’t really like. 

But when you have a goal that comes from your heart, the prize tag of those things becomes really high. 

The A-B-C of Goals Setting

There are three different types of goals that I learned from Bob Proctor’s work. 

• Type A goals are things you already know how to do. There’s no growth there. It’s a repeat. Like if you’ve run a 10K before and your goal is to do it again.
• Type B goals are things you think you can do. It’s a so-called realistic goal. You might need to stretch a bit, but you still have a plan. This could be getting a promotion, taking an extra month of work so you can travel or increasing your income with 5% 
• Type C goals are the ones you really want. They’re bold. You don’t know how you’re going to get there and even thinking about them feels uncomfortable. But you can feel the pull. They’re not goals you achieve by working harder. They’re goals you achieve by becoming someone new.

That’s the whole point. These kinds of goals ask you to grow. 

The Type A and Type B goals keep you where you are. 

You might be expanding, you might reach your goal by doing more of what you are doing, or then you give up because the extra effort is not really worth the 5% extra income.  

The A and B goals are what most of us are taught about goals. They need to be SMART. SMART is a framework  that says effective goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time boned.

And if you ask me, this is just bullshit advice. At least if  we’re talking about personal transformation. SMART goals might be helpful when you are doing incremental task management. 

When you set a C type goal, when you’re following your heart’s desire you are adding emotion into the mix and that is what changes the game. 

Another misconception about goals is that they are about getting something. 

That’s not quite accurate. Goals are not about getting, it’s about becoming. More specifically, it’s about the person you become when you go for a goal. 

To go for a goal that’s big and bold, a goal that’s guided by your heart’s desires, you need to transform. This is what growth is all about. 

Whether you reach the goal is less important. 

When you do this, you work from the goal, not towards it. As soon as you set the goal, commit to it, and go for it, you’re there. This is how you enjoy the process. Otherwise life just becomes about constantly wanting to be somewhere else. 

The Power of Vision Writing 

I remember doing a vision writing exercise during a personal development course I took at Google. I had completely forgotten about it until I recently found the notebook.

In that exercise, I wrote that I wanted to work as a coach. I wanted to help people. I wanted a calm and soft life. I didn’t want to wake up to an alarm.

At the time, it felt like a fantasy. But I remember having this feeling in my body — a quiet trust. A knowing. Like, this is going to happen. Even though I had no clue how.

Looking back, that was the starting point. That was when the path began to unfold.

Later, when I made it a conscious goal, I didn’t give myself other options. I didn’t say “I hope I’ll one day become a coach.” I said: This is happening.

Now, of course I’ve doubted myself along the way. I’ve had moments where I questioned everything. But what brought me back — again and again — was that deeper knowing. I claimed the goal.

The Real Reason People Don’t Go For What They Want

If I boil it down — what actually keeps most people from living the life they want — is that they either don’t know what they want, or if they do, they’re too afraid to go for it. 

They convince themselves it’s not realistic.

I notice this all the time — when I speak out loud about my bigger goals, people get triggered. 

Sometimes they say “Okay… good for you.” 

Other times they try to bring me back down to earth:

 “But have you thought about this?”
“What’s your plan for that?”
“You can’t do it that way.”

And I get it — they mean well. They’re trying to be helpful in their own way. But it’s obvious to me that what they’re really doing is projecting their own fear. Their own unwillingness to fully step into their desires.

What I’ve also noticed is that when challenged, many people start justifying why their actual goal won’t work before they even begin. 

They look for evidence that it’s not going to happen, and guess what — the world mirrors that right back to them.

And then they use that as proof that their dream wasn’t valid in the first place.

Why?Because people are more obsessed with being right about their limitations than being happy.

So instead of saying, “I don’t know how this is going to happen, but I’m open to being supported,” they set a safer, watered-down goal. 

And I’m saying this with love. I’ve been there myself. And I wish someone had just told me:

Go for what you want.

Try This: The “My Remarkable Life” Exercise

If you’re not sure what your big goal is, or if you’ve been floating a bit — try this.

Take out a notebook this week. At the top of the page, write: My Remarkable Life.

 Then start writing freely: How would your perfect day in your remarkable life look like from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed?  

• Who do you wake up with?
• Where do you wake up? 
• When do you wake up?
• What do you do when you wake up? 
• How do you dress? 
• What do you eat? 
• Who do you eat with? 
• How does it smell? 
• What’s the furniture like? 
• What do you hear? 
• What do you touch? 
• What are you working on? 
• Who are you working with? 
• When are you working? 
• How are you working? 
• What does your body feel like?
• How much do you move?
• Are you outside or inside? 
• In what country are you? 
• What language do you speak? 

Write everything, literally everything with as much detail as you can. 

You will notice what’s most important to you by what you write. Some people will write their breakfast for half an hour, which then clearly indicates that breakfast is really important to them. 

Others will focus more on work or being outside or how they look. 

Don’t judge what comes out. Don’t stress about writing too much about certain segments of the day, just write until you feel that you are done. 

You can take breaks if you don’t have the time to do it all in one sitting.

The point is just to not censor yourself and just get your desire out of you, out on paper so that you can see it. 

When you’re done, read through what you wrote. If you want, you can edit, you can add things, you can remove things.

Then your only task is to read this every single day. Do this to program this into your subconscious. 

If you don’t wanna read, you can record what you wrote and listen to it on a daily basis.

This exercise changed everything for me. It gave me acknowledged my desires which freed a lot of energy. It also make the so called fantasy more real. 

Who knows, maybe it will change everything for you too. 

What distinguishes success from failure

One thing I’ve noticed from studying and being around people who are actually successful — and when I say successful, I mean alive, fulfilled, doing what they love — is that they go for what they really want.

Not the safe version. Not the version that makes sense on paper.

They’re willing to be misunderstood. They’re willing to keep going even when their current reality doesn’t reflect the dream. They don’t let their circumstances decide what they’re allowed to want.

And what I’ve seen is this: The second you start walking toward a life that’s more you, even if you don’t know how it’s going to happen, something changes in you.

That step alone — choosing your desire over your doubt — is an act of self-respect. It builds a new kind of self-trust. You become someone else just by saying yes to it.